Bella and Tess.
(All names changed for privacy)
Bella contacted me sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. She saw our Shower and Laundry Shuttle Facebook posts and she was curious if we had seen or heard of her sister, Tess. She is a homeless woman here in Modesto — tall and thin, hangs out with a guy named Ronald and is usually around the downtown area. Bella was worried about her and because she lives in another state, she was reaching out to anyone who might be able to give her any information about Tess.
This isn’t the first time this has happened … family from afar reaching out to talk to someone — anyone — who has been in contact with their estranged loved ones. And it’s rare that we don’t know the person or know someone who has seen them recently. It’s what we do. We create community and have become a bridge between the homeless and their families, the houseless and the housed, the ones who don’t understand, and those who want to help, and those who so desperately need the hand up out of the desperation of poverty.
“Yes,” I told Bella in the message. “I know your sister and she is doing well. In fact, I see her often and Ronald is an okay guy.”
She seemed relieved and we messaged back and forth for a bit; she asked a lot of questions, trying to get a mental image of how things were for her sister. I reassured her that while being homeless wasn’t an easy option, her sister seemed to be doing okay. And like always, I told her I couldn’t breach the trust and confidentiality that has been entrusted to us by our guests, but she could contact me anytime she was worried. She shared a picture with me of how Tess looked before she’d turned to drugs, and I honestly had to really stare at it to see that the person in the picture was the same person I knew … the years and choices Tess made had not been kind to her.
“Addiction ruins more than just the addict, and there is not one family that I know of that has escaped its ugly destructiveness, whether alcohol or drugs or porn or shopping or gambling or______ (fill in the blank.)”
I wasn’t too surprised when I got another message from Bella not much later. The content though made me pause and think. Bella had been truly hurt by her sister’s choices. Bella and Tess had a mom that lived not too far from here, and Tess was always welcomed in her home. But Tess had chosen drugs instead of life with her family and the pain in the messages was palpable.
In fact, Bella had become so bitter that she was seeking counseling to help her deal with the rejection and resentment her sister’s choices had caused. I encouraged and reassured her, and even shared some Scripture with her. It was good to help her in this way … I felt it was a Divine appointment and I did my best. But it did make me realize the other side of the situation. We meet our guests where they are and love them in their mess. We do our best to restore their hope in Christ and their dignity as human beings through showers, laundry, community, and prayer. But I didn’t think too much about their families … that their loved ones may be hurting because of their addictions and their choices. Not all homeless are addicts, and not all families are wonderful. But some are, and I guess I hadn’t really thought too much about that side of it. And though I knew it, it didn’t really sink in … that the bondage of addiction causes people to make horrible choices that often take them out of the safety net of love and family, and that the family oftentimes needs as much prayer for healing as the addict.
Bella continued to contact me through Messenger from time to time and again right around Christmas. Tess had made her way to their mom’s house in a nearby town and was warm, dry, safe, and well fed. Bella told me she was grateful that Tess had come back home, and I prayed they would have a happy reunion for the holidays.
But not all stories have happy endings — not in real life anyway. I got another message just a few days later that said that Tess had once again left her mom’s house to chase her lifestyle and the drug, and no one knew where she was. Tess messaged Bella that she didn’t want to come back to Modesto but didn’t know anyone anywhere else. And we haven’t seen her either, not for quite a while.
Addiction ruins more than just the addict, and there is not one family that I know of that has escaped its ugly destructiveness, whether alcohol or drugs or porn or shopping or gambling or______ (fill in the blank.) We will continue to love and serve the best way we can and change lives through showers and laundry and love. Not all who are homeless and living in poverty are bound by the chains of addiction, but a large majority are, and we would appreciate your help in praying for them. Pray for us too. Thanks.
What can you do?
Please pray for us to continue to love and serve those who are stuck in the cycle of homelessness and poverty. And pray, too, for so many who are like Bella and Tess, families — and in this case sisters — who are struggling to maintain some connection with each other.
Support our work.
As a local non-profit (501C3), we depend on support from people just like you. Give a gift today and help us in our mission to continue restoring hope and dignity to those in need with both mobile shower and laundry services … and know we will continue as long as there is a calling for us to do so.
“He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their chains in pieces.” — Psalm 107:14
