Thinking about Janelle ...

Sometimes we at Cleansing Hope Shower Shuttle find ourselves using the same words over and over to explain our ministry and why we do what we do. The verbiage rolls off our tongues almost without thinking and when we hear others use the same words, we’re nearly numb to the effects. I’m sure that most of you have become immune to words like “developing relationships” and “establishing community” purely from the overuse of these catch-phrases.

But what happens when they’re true? How can you tell when someone from the service sector is delivering a well-rehearsed line or truly means it and is living it out? When is the speaker is speaking from the heart or from something they’ve regurgitated or borrowed from another? Bottom line...you really can’t. Which is frustrating, because by pure over-saturation, most of you aren’t listening anymore. Oh, I’m not criticizing. I’ve nearly become numb myself...numb to the need to keep writing stories and taking photos and informing our social media family and supporters that the need is greater than ever; that the broken population continues to rise; and we are still doing all we can to meet the needs of so many by offering consistent hygiene through showers and soon laundry.

So, long story short...I’m apologizing to you, dear friend. Apologizing for allowing myself to become tired and a little jaded. For dipping out and letting you wonder if we even still care. And if we’ve stopped caring , why should you? We most certainly still care. We most certainly are still living out Matthew 25:40 (“Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me.”) We just got a little caught up in putting our heads down and serving and loving and building (the Laundry Shuttle) and we’ve neglected you. Please forgive me and allow me to tell you about my friend Janelle. (Photo shared with permission)

Janelle hasn’t always been homeless. In fact, she has children and grandchildren somewhere. I don’t know how she happened to land in Modesto but she started using the Shower Shuttle a few years back and became a regular. Some days she was smiley and chatty and some days she would just sit quietly and wait her turn, even if it was for an hour or so. But no matter her struggles, she always said “thank you” for the shower. She would wipe down the shower, take care of her shoes and towel, ask politely for a hygiene kit...anything to show her appreciation. And then, whenever it was time for her to go, she’d say “I need a hug.” Always, without fail. And I’d stop what I was doing and give her one. If I was busy, she’d wait without complaining. But she never left without a hug, a moment of connection.

She had some fairly significant health issues that I thought might have been embellished a little, but when she showed up with a pacer implanted, I knew they were true. She struggled with her failing heart, living at MOES (Modesto Outdoor Emergency Shelter...aka Tent City) with her “kitties” and was forever showing me blurry pictures of her fur babies that were her only true companions. She did the best she could in her situation and though she was sometimes overwhelmed, she stayed clean and I admire her pluck...I’m not sure I would have done as well as she did given the same circumstances.

“I’m leaving,” she told me a few weeks back.

“Where are you going?” I asked her.

“My granddaughter’s in Sacramento. I have liver failure, it might be cancer. And I think I might need a new pacer. So I’m moving in with her and going to have surgery at Mercy General Hospital. I’m scared but I know God’s got me,” she blurted out.

“Oh my goodness,” I said. “I’m happy for you but I’m sorry all that is going on. But yes, Father has you. It’s going to be okay.” I smiled and meant it.

She smiled her no-teeth, half-smile and sat down to wait for her shower, today obviously being one of her quiet days. She showered and gathered up her things and stood, waiting for her hug. I gave her one...a long, hard, goodbye hug and told her I’d be praying for her. On an impulse, I asked if I could take her picture with me. I didn’t see the tiredness and worry in her face that day as much as I can see it now. I wish I had prayed with her right then and there. I wish I had gotten her phone number, or given her mine. I miss her. And I do pray that she is doing okay and that she is warm and clean and safe and that her granddaughter cares for her as much as we do.

Developing relationships and establishing community are not just catch-phrases we use to garner donations. We truly are doing these things because providing showers and soon laundry are not all we do. Yes, they are significant pieces of the puzzle that impact homelessness and poverty, but the MOST important thing is the love. The love He pours into us so that we may pour it out upon others.

Please keep us in your prayers. Janelle too.

And if you have been blessed to be able to do so, please consider supporting us financially. We so very much appreciate you! 💙

“A new command I give you; Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34